Over the years in my jiujitsu training and observing others in various sports, I’ve noticed a recurring trap in myself and the people around me: People often chase good feelings, rather than concrete results. With the current social media culture, posting about the activity is now much more important than the activity itself. Popularities are rising for the sports that enhance the good feelings, particularly like golf and strength training, where majority of the people actually does not care about the progress of their skill, rather, they care about letting people to know they are doing it, and they feel good about it. while I have no objections towards these sports, I do think this is a huge mental mastrubation.
When feeling good blocks progress
The danger of the feel-good fallacy is that it creates an illusion of momentum. Your swing looks the same after two years, your numbers stall, your habits don’t evolve. The good feeling becomes the reward, when the real reward should be measurable change. Growth in any arena—fitness, business, relationships—rarely feels good. It’s awkward, uncomfortable, uncertain, and usually forces us into unfamiliar terrain.
Feedback over feelings
Anything that consumes time, energy, or resources should connect to a measurable goal. Ask yourself:
- How far have I come?
- How far do I still need to go?
- What needs to change?
Those questions rarely feel good, but they’re necessary. If we only chase the dopamine drip of temporary satisfaction, we stay on a treadmill—moving but not advancing. Focusing on feedback turns progress into something objective: weight lost, technique refined, knowledge retained.
Lessons from Brazilian Jiu-jitsu
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) cares nothing about how you feel. There’s no dopamine hit when you’re being choked out by a higher belt, and no room for ego when a smaller opponent beats you with technique. BJJ doesn’t reward attendance; it rewards adaptation, endurance, and humility. That’s why I dedicate this reflection to the mats—it’s been a steady reminder that real growth comes from pain, not comfort.
Compete, compete, compete
One of the ways to escape the fallacy, is to set a immutable goal for the work. In sports, it is often in the form of competition. It forces you to set a goal for your progress relentlessly. It gives no mercy to your feel-good tendencies. If you lose, you lose. and you have to deal with the failure. Life is hard, it is no easier than a amateur competition. In fact, life itself consists of hidden competitions everywhere. Every relationship you did not get, you lose to someone else. every job you did not get, you lose to someone else. Every customer you did not get, you lose to someone else. Most of the people does not realize this happening, they let life slip through the laziness and comfort. But growth happens in discomfort. By forcing yourself with a immutable goal, you are essentially aware of the competition and failure. And you are foceing yourself to be comfortable with the discomfort. You are going to compete anyway in life, why not do it intentionally ?
Final thought
In a world obsessed with quick dopamine, polished images, and easy validation, it’s vital to recognize the trap of false progress. If we want to grow—truly grow—we have to get comfortable with discomfort, obsessed with feedback, and relentlessly focused on outcomes. Growth doesn’t feel good, and that might be the point.